Carpe Momento

I thought I had subdued Jawz, but apparently not. I don't seem to deal very well with not getting my own way. I only have an hour for the Y so I need everything to go smoothly. Today there was a wait for a lane...so Jawz is saying "leave" and I hate everybody. But the part of me that's remaining on track no matter what said do whatever you can...it doesn't HAVE to be 30 minutes. Then I get in the car after the swim and stop to buy a cup of soup for my lunch because I forgot mine at home today and out of nowhere comes "I'm going to get a choc chip cookie w/that, then...AND a p'nut butter one...yes I'm gonna do it..I'll just write off today and NO ONE WILL KNOW....and then I felt crushed because that meant I'd have to sneak eat from you guys and it made me want to cry. So, I'm battling today, but it's proof positive that you all mean a lot to me.
I don't want to be this huge woman, who has such a difficult time fitting comfortably in this world.
I love you guys
Kate